Saturday, December 1, 2012

Now what?

I was devistated. DH didnt know what to do with me. I cried and cried. I did not leave my bed for a week. I felt so numb. For those who never suffered a loss, it is hard to relate. I felt as if a living relitive had died. It was the same pain. I cannot imagine every going through that again, and I pray to G-d I wont have to.
 

I grew up with amazing parents who allowed me to have a privileged life. I went to expensive camps, got great gifts, and really was never denied anything (Except a furby when I was 9. I never got one and really wanted it) Really I cannot complain they would do anything and everything for me.

Having a child is one thing I cannot control. It is difficult for me to wait and try and wait and test. I am so used to instant gratification. So to not have any control for me is hard. I am the controlling leader type. I need to know whats going on, have a plan, and execute.

In this situation, I was helpless.

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