August 5th 2012

One day before my 6 week ultra sound...

The past two weeks all I did was talk about the bean growing inside me, look up names, nursery ideas, maternity clothes etc. Every night I would talk to DH about our hopes and dreams for little bean. I was obsessed! I loved this thing growing inside me that I have never met! Only 7.5 months until we finally meet!

My appt was Monday the 6th. Sunday the 5th DH and I went to the movies. I needed to use the bathroom before so ran quickly so I wouldn't miss the previews. There is was, my biggest fear... little dots of red blood. I panicked. It was so small, it could be nothing. I am seeing the OB the next day. It was probably normal spotting. The spotting never stopped, it just increased. My mom went with me to the OB the next day. I was petrified.

We sat in the waiting room for what seemed like hours. The practice has three doctors, A, B, and C. My entire community uses Dr B. Since I was new at all this I did not specify I wanted him. My appointment was with Dr. A. Finally I was led into the ultrasound room. There it was little bean! On the monitor all cute and tiny! Dr. A said it's measuring at about 4 weeks. My heart dropped. 4 weeks? I should be 6 weeks! I had a BFP more than 4 weeks ago 4 weeks is impossible! I knew it was over, tears streamed down my face maybe just maybe I calculated wrong, and everything was ok.

That night was the worst. I kept bleeding and bleeding. I passed clots and eventually the sac. I couldnt stop crying. There it was my bean we finally met just 7 months too early. I barely slept. I called the OB the next day to tell them, they told me to come in for blood work and another ultrasound.