Day by Day

I often look back at situations in my life and think wow I was so dumb and naive. Even if that memory was only 2 months ago.

When we started TTC, I said to G-d please allow me to get pregnant quickly even if it ends in miscarriage so I know I can get pregnant. I cant believe I said that. After experiencing a miscarriage, I believe that was probably the dumbest thing I've ever asked G-d.

About a week and a half after our loss, I only cried 5 days a day which was good for me. It was so difficult to move past it. Fortunately, I had the online forum with a miscarriage board. I met other people experiencing what I was. It was helpful to talk to someone going through the same thing.  I dont know why miscarriages are not talked about and kind of a taboo subject. People are suffering in silence. I told a few friends IRL what had happened. They felt bad and awkward. I guess it's an awkward topic especially since they have kids. Thankfully I had the forum.

Day by day it got better. It was still hard. I dont think anyone except for DH knew how hard it was for me. I couldn't go a day without crying.